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lexiconstipation
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Name: Shannon
Birthday: 11/28/1984
Gender: Female
Interests: Taking care of my ageing teddy bear Edmund.
Kicking ass. Being a big poser.
Expertise: I'm a hospitality executive. Yep. That's what I am. No more, no less.
Occupation: Executive
Industry: Hospitality
Message: message me
AIM:  lexiconstipation
Member Since:
7/18/2003
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| what I've done so far of the condensed version of Howards End-- it's not even close to done, and there are bits here left out...but you get the general idea...:
[Meet the Schlegels]
ALL: We represent the last bastion of European culture, refinement and sensitivity. We are all about ‘personal relations’.
MARGARET: I care for things like Literature and Art.
HELEN: So do I.
TIBBY: I am the ineffectual intellectual Oxford undergraduate. I hog all the tea when aspiring clerks come calling.
[Meet the Wilcoxes]
ALL: We represent the powerful business class. We have stodgy conservative opinions, and certain terrible brutality, but possess a robustness and virility that the Schlegels lack.
CHARLES: I am a brutal bastard, and don’t for a minute regret not having been to univaarsity.
DOLLY: In the Merchant Ivory film, I have the most annoying voice.
RUTH: (glides by)
HENRY: There is absolutely nothing funny about me.
FORSTER: It will be generally admitted that Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony is the most sublime noise that has ever penetrated into the ear of man.
(Helen STEALS Leonard Bast’s UMBRELLA.)
LEONARD: Alas, how embarrassing.
MARGARET: I quite agree. Take my card.
RUTH: I am dying, but I feel a strange connection to you, Margaret Schlegel.
MARGARET: Cool. Can I have Howards End?
LEONARD: Oh, to acquire culture! Oh, to pronounce foreign names correctly!
MARGARET AND HELEN: We find you immensely amusing. Here, take our card. Also, we think it would be in your best interest to quit your current job and get this other one of dubious security.
LEONARD: Well, I suppose the rich and cultured know best.
(he LOSES the new JOB.)
LEONARD: Alas, I am disillusioned.
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| Drool: the fourth installment
In Which There Is an Homage to Woody Allen
SHANNON: So how was the production meeting? Was Peggy as loveably rabid as usual?
ANDREA: No, but Ian clearly thinks Zhu doesn't exist.
SHANNON: Who's Zhu?
ANDREA: (pause....there is much drooling)
SHANNON: I don't mean that in a metaphysical way. I mean, concerning the crew of the play, who's Zhu?
ANDREA: Oh, you know, Zhu, the marketing manager, Zhu.
SHANNON: Ah. I've never met her.
ANDREA: Neither have I, to be exact.
SHANNON: Ah. So how can you be sure she really is the marketing manager?
ANDREA: I distinctly remember Ian turning to me and saying, "Zhu eat?" You know, like, "Zhu eat?" Zhu, not you, but Zhu.
SHANNON: Uh....and what do you suppose he was implying?
ANDREA: Bastard.
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| Hello all. The online journal has changed a bit, but not to worry. If you're a Xanga member on my list, then you should be able to access my journal. If you are a Xanga member that ought to be on my list, but is not yet, do comment on this entry and I will add you.
If, and this is the most likely, you are not a Xanga member at all, it's very easy to join up and you don't have to keep your own online journal. So join, make a comment, and I'll add you.
Thanks very much. I'm sorry for the inconvenience. | | |
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